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Imagine logging on to social media after your spouse gets home from a long day at work and seeing some really awful things being said about him or her because they aren’t doing their job as well as some people think they should.
The vast majority of married couples don’t have to worry about that scenario. But Nathan & Madison Carter and Jonathan & Abbie Kim do.
If Nathan Carter doesn’t run so well, or if Jonathan Kim doesn’t kick so well, Michigan State fans (or opponent trolls) try to feel better about themselves by logging on to their favorite social media apps and letting their (usually ignorant) thoughts fly.
They think they are getting their criticisms through to running back Nate Carter or kicker Jonathan Kim on social media by slamming them, or trolling them, but what they don’t realize is that these two guys have some pretty formidable gatekeepers in their lives that keep that stuff away from them: their wives.
Meet Madison Carter and Abbie Kim, the first ladies of Spartan football.
While Madison and Abbie love being married to NCAA Division I athletes who find themselves on TV every week and in news articles more often than that, they also know that this lifestyle is unique – and is definitely uncomfortable sometimes.
“It’s a whirlwind,” said Madison. “Fans are very bipolar when it comes to games. We (at MSU) have a pretty strong fan base. If the team does well, we get good comments. If the team does bad, we get horrible comments. It’s heartbreaking how rude people are in the comment section.”
Madison actually makes it a habit to try and see everything before it gets to Nathan.
“I do go through the comment section and I do look through them all,” said Madison. “Obviously, the stats aren’t (always) where Nate would like (them to be) – and people are very rude in the comments because of that. We’ll be sitting in a game, and I’ll get really rude comments on our wedding photos. I go through those and delete the ones on our personal photos because there is no need for that. After the games, I go through Nate’s DMs or comments or messages on whatever platform and delete the ones he doesn’t really need to see. There is no need for him to think about what some random guy on the coach is thinking of him. I go through his phone and delete all those just so that he isn’t having to look at those.”
Jonathan Kim’s wife, Abbie, hasn’t had to do that as much this year – although she’s ready to if needed – because her husband has been mostly consistent in his field goal kicking this year.
“With kickers, you don’t have to know football to know if a kick was good or not,” said Abbie. “It’s pretty easy for anyone and everyone to say what they are feeling (about a kicker). Thankfully this year, he’s had a good season, so far, so a lot of the comments have been good. I do have to take time and pray over the words that are (commented about them), whether that be online, in person or wherever it is. Whether it’s high praise or rude comments – that they aren’t focused on that and know that their worth doesn’t come from what those people say. People like to say what they’re thinking, even if they shouldn’t.”
Madison and Abbie say that Jonathan and Nathan have been good for each other when it comes to absorbing the impact of social media in their lives.
“It’s really important that they have each other – they obviously know football a lot more than me and Abbie do,” said Madison. “Them being best friends and them sharing everything that happens - including frustrations and issues that they have - has been very helpful. There are a lot of comments out there and Nathan does see (some of) them. He tries not to let them get to him. At the end of the day, those words don’t matter to him, but it is hard to hear all those negative comments sometimes. We try to focus on the good parts and get over a hard game and just forget about it and move on to the next week.”
Their faith is important to both Jonathan and Nathan and it guides them through the difficulties of being a starting D-I student-athlete.
“They both preach often that they play for an audience of one,” said Abbie. “Obviously, it would be a lie to say that you can ignore every bad comment and that nothing ever gets to you. Their firm foundation is that their identity is not set on sports or on what people say.”
The story of Jonathan and Abbie Kim
Jonathan and Abbie first met their sophomore year of undergrad at UNC Chapel Hill in a poetry class which was being held on the front porch of a house on campus since it was during covid in 2020. Abbie and her friend only took the class because they had heard there were a lot of athletes in the class so it was probably going to be pretty easy. Turns out they were right and there did happen to be a lot of athletes in it.
During each class, they all had to share their poems out loud and one day the teacher congratulated Jonathan on one of his poems -- and he just so happened to also be the special teams player of the week for football that week -- so Abbie said something along the lines of “good job player of the week.”
Jonathan took that as a green light to message her on Instagram, where he proceeded to ask her all the time for due dates of poems, or what to write about, even though they had a poem due every single week so he didn’t really need to know. The following semester they started to hang out more and more -- Jonathan continuously asked her out on dates and Abbie continuously referred to him as a friend.
They started dating the beginning of their junior year and then navigated long distance as Abbie studied abroad in Spain for a semester.
That’s when the discussion of Jonathan transferring during their senior year started. After graduating with their undergrad degree at North Carolina in May 2023, the couple had discussed marriage and what their ideal timeline would look like. They knew they wanted to be married in summer 2024 so that she could more easily be with him for his last season of NCAA football.
But with Abbie's plan to do international missions in Peru for a year after graduating, the reality of this didn’t look likely (or so Jonathan made her think).
In reality, Jonathan had gotten the blessing to propose from Abbie's parents on a beach trip (without her knowing) with the hopes of being able to propose before she left. Abbie was originally supposed to leave for Peru in September of 2023 but after some delay in fundraising she didn’t leave until mid-October. MSU’s bye week just so happened to be the first weekend in October so Jonathan flew down to North Carolina. They had planned to go watch his old teammates play at the UNC game which she thought was just a reunion weekend. After the game was over, they were walking back to the car and he asked to walk by the old house where they used to have poetry.
Abbie thought that was weird because he had never done that before, but she agreed. When they got there, he had lights up and ended up proposing on the front porch of the house where they first met. They celebrated with all of their friends and family at a restaurant afterwards -- Abbie was very stunned and excited.
Two weeks later, she moved to Peru for seven months and the couple spent their engagement season apart.
“We just had to do our own thing for a minute,” Abbie said.
Jonathan and Abbie did their premarital counseling with Phil and Julie Gillespi from Athletes in Action via Zoom.
“It was interesting to navigate doing engagement on different continents,” said Abbie. "It was definitely hard. But we also learned so much about communication and (it) made married life together all the more sweet. I moved back to the US in May and we got married in June in my hometown in North Carolina. And shortly after we hauled all my things and made the drive back to East Lansing."
The story of Nathan and Madison Carter
Nathan and Madison’s story started when Nathan met his future teammate – and best man in his wedding – Caleb Coley, at the end of 2022. The first Sunday Nathan was at MSU, Caleb brought him to church, which is where Caleb introduced Madison to Nathan.
The next week, Nate and Madison were at the campus ministry Athletes in Action (AIA), and, as Madison was headed to tell the leader that she was going on the South Africa mission trip, she overheard him talking to Nathan about going. Madison told Nathan that she was going and was happy that he had the opportunity to go as well.
Later that week, Madison found Nathan's Instagram account, DM'd him to let him know she was having friends over for brunch after church, and invited him to join them.
While everyone was over for brunch, the group was trying to convince Madison to go on the AIA winter retreat. Caleb, who actually called Madison’s mom and explained to her that Madison needed to attend, pointed the camera around to everyone in the group so she could see who all was going.
Later that night, Madison called her mom just to talk to her and told her that there might be a guy she wanted her to meet.
Mom’s reply: "Let me guess ... the guy that was in the back of the FaceTime call?"
“Sure enough, my mom is always right!” said Madison. “After that Sunday, Nathan and I got talking, and since I am not the best at texting back, I asked him if we could just FaceTime while I got my letters (of support written) for South Africa.”
That quickly evolved into 2-3 hours of Face Timing.
“I had to go to work so I told him I would talk later but he knew I didn't have a ride home that night and that I would either be walking or finding an Uber home,” said Madison. “So, instead, he came and picked me up after work and drove me back to my place. We talked for a very long time and learned a lot about each other. I ended up going on the winter retreat and we had a lot of deep and personal conversations, everything was so natural and easy with him.”
Quickly after that, Madison asked Nathan if he wanted to come to her parent's house for her mom's birthday and he said yes.
“So my parents met him early on and I could tell that they liked him,” said Madison. “When we got back to East Lansing he asked me to be his girlfriend. About a month later we went to South Africa together and that's where I knew this was going to be a forever thing. Watching each other serve and interact with other people is still one of our favorite memories from that trip.”
Nathan and Madison were very intentional with their dating relationship from the very beginning, knowing pretty early on that this was going to be much more than a casual dating relationship.
“Nathan met with our Athletes in Action leader Phil (Gillespie) every week and I met with his wife Julie (Gillespie) each week,” said Madison. “We then began meeting as a couple with both Phil and Julie. That time allowed us to ask many questions, and they helped us grow through our relationship together. Phil and Julie have been one of the biggest blessings in our lives.”
Nathan and Madison had been talking about marriage and it was something they both felt was right.
“He proposed to me right after one of his best games, after he scored three touchdowns!” said Madison.
It was Saturday, September 9, 2023, and Nathan had just gashed the Richmond defense for three third-quarter touchdown runs and a total of 111 yards on the ground.
“We were ‘walking to his car’ after the game but cut through the botanical gardens and everything was set up there so beautifully,” said Madison. “There were rose petals and a red carpet and letters that said ‘Marry Me.’ The MSU band ended up playing the fight song in the background of him reading his (marriage proposal) letter to me and it was absolutely perfect!”
The happy couple then went to a restaurant where their families were waiting for them to celebrate together.
Best friends - and married couple friends
Jonathan Kim and Nathan Carter are the only two married members of the Michigan State football team; they are also best friends.
“It’s been cool to have Nate and Maddie (Carter) – another young married couple to do life with, and experience new things together, see their point of view, talk on things, and be able to go through similar stages of life together at the same time,” said Abbie Kim. “I’m also new to the area, just getting here this summer, it was awesome to have Maddie – who was also a new young wife to an NCAA football player – we connected on that level and had similarities there.”
“It’s so nice to come home to him after every game,” Madison said. “Being married to a player, you get a lot more of the ‘wow, it’s crazy that you guys are actually married in college – you don’t usually see that.’"
When asked why they married young, the reasons were easy to explain.
“We had a short time that we knew each other, and dating, and engagement,” said Madison. “People said we rushed into it. We (like to) talk about how intentional we were. There wasn’t an awkward stage between us – we just dove into the hard topics. I could really trust him early on with my story. Personal conversations and everything were just so natural with him. We both are Christians, and we view a Christian marriage as very important in our lives.”
Jonathan and Abbie, as well as Nate and Madison, had mentors on campus through the Athletes in Action group on campus. Phil and Julie Gillespie walked both couples through what to expect when they got marriage – so they were walking into married life fully prepared.
When Jonathan was on his official visit in December 2022, his main thing in looking at schools he was considering transferring to was the Christian community and what it was like. The MSU coaching staff immediately put Jonathan on the phone with Caleb Coley.
“When Nathan was transferring, he wanted a school with a strong Athletes in Action program,” said Madison. “That was one of the reasons he picked Michigan State. Caleb and Nate got really really close and then Jonathan came in and joined them.”
The five of them hang out often – and the couples really enjoy spending time together.
“It was so awesome to have Maddie this summer, coming into a new place,” said Abbie. “Maddie has been so sweet. I feel like we naturally get along very well.”
“When Abbie was gone to Peru, Jonathan and Nathan were peer pressuring me ‘you have to be friends with Abbie – we’re best friends, you have to best friends,’” said Madison. “I was like, guys, I’ve met Abbie once and only said hi and that was it. I was so nervous for her to come in. When I first met her, she was pretty quiet – obviously that’s because she didn’t know anyone – but I was like, oh no, I’m pretty loud. What if she doesn’t have the same type of vibe or be the same type of person as me? We spent a lot of time while the guys were at (football) camp. It’s been nice to see her at games and at AIA. It’s been very nice to have Abbie here on campus.”
When asked if they recommend married life for young adults in college, both women give nuanced answers.
“Our faith has a huge component in that,” said Madison. “If I didn’t have my faith, I would not recommend it. You put God first all the time, it’s hard for it to go wrong. If you are praying over your marriage and you are praying over your husband and he is praying over you and if you walk (through) life together with God at the front and center of it, you’re doing well.”
“I would be totally cool with anyone getting married in college,” she continued. “It’s honestly really nice. I lived between three frat houses last year and it was awful. I couldn’t sleep Thursday through Sunday. Me and Nate moved off campus to get away but still be pretty close to campus. It’s nice to be off campus when you’re married because you’re still setting the foundation of your marriage. It’s very nice just having time for the two of us.”
Not everyone sees it that way.
“When I walked into class the first time after getting engaged, everyone was like ‘wow, you’re crazy and dumb for that,’” said Madison. She obviously disagrees with that assessment.
“If you look at Nathan, he treats me with honor and respect and puts me ahead of football, puts me in front of everything – except God obviously,” said Madison. “When you find a good strong Christian man who is making an effort in your life, I totally would say go for it. But I wouldn’t rush into it if it isn’t something God has for you. I know some people think if you don’t meet your person in college then you’re toast – but in reality, God has your person already out there for you, so just wait for His timing. If His timing is not during college then it’s not during college. For me and Nathan and Abbie and Jonathan, it just happened to be in college.”
As for Abbie Kim, she couldn’t get past the financial aspect of married life so young.
“I had a money issue in my head,” she said. “I was like, how can we get married if we are in college and don’t have money? Jonathan has taught me, though, that if it’s the Lord’s plan, it’s a good thing and don’t let worries or apprehension about money or finances be what makes you not get married.”
Abbie knew early on that she was going to marry him but she still had thoughts and worries about what it meant in her life.
“Am I going to miss out on this part of my life?” she thought but quickly answered her own question. “God has shown me how this was the best thing that could have happened to the two of us – and how cool and exciting and new it is to be young and married. My advice to others who are thinking about marriage when young and in college – don’t just let fear of the future be what stops you from saying yes to something you know you want to say yes to. You definitely can accomplish more together than you can apart.”
Madison agrees.
“Don’t let other people’s opinions and words stop you from getting married in college,” she said. “I know people have a lot of opinions on that – but everyone in every relationship is different. Just because it doesn't work for someone doesn’t mean it doesn’t work for you. I would highly recommend that you don’t let other people’s thoughts get in the way of you and your future husband.”
Football coach transition - should we stay or should we go?
At the beginning of their 2023 football season, Jonathan’s and Nathan’s head coach was fired. An interim coach finished out the season and, immediately after the season was over, Jonathan Smith was brought in as the next head coach of the Spartans.
It was a rough time for everyone involved with the Michigan State football program – but Jonathan and Nathan knew very quickly that they would be sticking it out in East Lansing.
“Jonathan very quickly fell in love with MSU, Nate, Caleb, the community he found here, Athletes in Action,” said Abbie. “He wanted to stay here. He prayed about it. He knew there could be opportunities out there, especially with NIL becoming a thing, but ultimately he really wanted to stay here. It was a little scary because – being a kicker – you never know about a new coaching staff. But he knew this was the place for him.”
“Nate felt pretty confident that God was calling him to stay here and be a light for the football team here on campus,” said Madison. “It didn’t really cross his mind to transfer. He really wanted to stay here and be with his team and his friends here. He didn’t really look too much into transferring. He was excited to see what the new coaching staff was going to do here. And I was still in school here, too, so he didn’t want to pick up and move.”
Madison Carter works at Eagle Eye Golf Club and every Saturday in June the new coaching staff would come in, take the recruits golfing, and then eat dinner with them. That’s where she met the new coaching staff.
“‘Oh, you’re Mrs. Carter,’ they would say,” said Madison. “They brought all their family and kids to most of the weekends. I met KB (MSU RB assistant coach Keith Bhonapha) and all his kids.”
She babysits for the Bhonaphas every once in a while.
“It’s cool getting to know him and his kids,” she said. “His kids are at all the games in the cutest little outfits. I like this coaching staff, I really do. I think they honor their families and have good intentions for the players and want what’s best for them and not just because of football but because of who they are as people. They let the players express themselves.”
As an example, Nathan and Jonathan both wanted to wear their ‘Jesus Won’ t-shirts and the coaches did let them wear them both on the pre-game walk and during warmups.
“I really appreciate them allowing the guys to express their faith,” said Madison.
Name, Image, and Likeness
Both Nathan and Jonathan played football at a time when Name, Image, and Likeness income was made possible for collegiate student-athletes. It has helped both players (and their wives) immensely.
“Honestly, NIL has been a huge blessing, especially after getting married at an early age in college,” said Madison. “Any extra income is great in an early marriage – I’m still paying for school, so it is very nice to have that. It’s nice that people can recognize these athletes for what they’re doing. Sometimes they allow me to be a part of it because I’m a wife and it’s different, so we have a couple (NIL opportunities) that allow me to benefit from it as well.”
“To be completely honest,” Abbie said. “I used to be an NIL hater. Jonathan has changed my perspective on it – just how much time and energy these guys put into their sports for the school, for the fans. They definitely deserve it and it definitely has blessed us in a lot of ways – being on scholarship is a blessing in itself – and NIL has presented a lot of cool opportunities. And me, still being in a job search, it has definitely blessed us as a newly married couple.”
Madison came to Michigan State as a women’s soccer player and switched her sport to rowing at MSU.
“I was an athlete here at MSU,” Madison said. “As a female athlete in a smaller sport, you don’t get too many NIL deals – it’s more like ‘rep our brand, here’s some free merch.’ I was a big NIL hater, too, and I didn’t understand why they (football and basketball players) got all the money and why we didn’t get anything. Looking in to it, though, football and basketball provide most of the money for our little sports here so we’re very grateful for everything they bring in. Look how many people come to the games, look how many people watch on TV. It’s a lot more than we would ever be in a smaller sport. I think it’s awesome they can make a name for themselves and make some profit off it as well.”
Senior Day 2024
As both Nathan and Jonathan take to the field for the final time in Spartan Stadium versus Rutgers, their wives will be there, cheering them on (Nathan is graduating this December which is why he wants to walk - but he still has one more year of eligibility left if he wants it).
During the pregame senior ceremony, the players will run out from the tunnel and will meet their loved ones at midfield. Most of the time, it's parents who are meeting the players there, but on this senior day, two Spartans will also have their wives greeting them with support as they finish up their collegiate home career: Abbie Kim and Madison Carter.
This article is made possible by Spartans Illustrated sponsors Nudge Printing and CGA America. To support more stories like this, please subscribe to Spartans Illustrated by clicking this link. Current promotion is 75% off for an annual subscription by using code RIVALS24. Thank you for your support.
